SANTA AND METRO DC SOCIALIST ELVES DELIVER COAL TO CONGRESS

December 26, 2020

Washington, D.C. — At 9:30 a.m. on Christmas Day, the Metro D.C. chapter of the Democratic Socialists of America (DSA) gathered in front of the U.S. Capitol on the east lawn to make a very important delivery: a large sack of coal! Santa and his socialist elves declared Congress made the naughty list this year on account of the miserly stimulus package Congress passed earlier this week.

Following months of both parties playing political games during negotiations as millions fell into poverty, Congress voted to give working Americans a measly $600, while providing $4 billion for the U.S. Navy, $2.4 billion to an unnecessary and ridiculous Space Force, $1.4 billion for a racist border wall, $500 million to help uphold apartheid in Israel, and $33 million to help Juan Guaido try once again to usurp the democratically elected Venezuelan government.

On the steps of the Capitol Santa declared that he is indeed a socialist who believes our world should not be dictated just by a handful of wealthy 1%ers. He declared, “Merry Christmas to all! And to the workers of the world, unite!”

While other nations around the world are recovering from the pandemic, the United States faces a mounting COVID-19 death toll, the worst economic recession since the Great Depression, and a wholly inadequate patchwork of state and local virus prevention measures. Metro D.C. DSA demands that Congress pass an amendment to the bill increasing the single $600 stimulus check to $2,000 every month for the duration of the pandemic, at a minimum, so that everyone can stay home, stay healthy, and ensure that hospitals have the capacity to treat new patients.